the first four weeks...

have passed and hardly a day goes by without me thanking God for bringing me here. I'm feeling right at home here - like pigs in clover. :-) (I read that expression somewhere once and thought it was funny) ... and this in a double meaning.
For one thing that I can really serve here be it with the cooking, the interpretation, in praying and interceding with and for the students... there's always things to do around here...
At the same time I can tell how I am healing more and more on the inside and this in an entirely unspectacular way... most of it happens my times alone with God, but also in the community and fellowship of the others where I can learn to be myself again, to take off my false identity and take on my real identity anew. It's... I'm at a loss for words. All I can say is: our God IS so so so so so good!
I'm experiencing in a most real and personal sense Isaiah 43:18-21:
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. The wild animals honour me, the jackals and the owls, because I provide water in the desert and streams in the wasteland, to give drink to my people, my chosen, the people I formed for myself that they may proclaim my praise.

But there is also one big PRAYER REQUEST:
Finances. This isn't a supplication or a begging 'post', that's not what this is about. I know that my God is good and that He will come through, I myself have experienced it countless times. No, it's about being open with you, about being transparent so we can stand together in prayer in this.
The current status is that I've had a cutback of about 50% in my monthly support when I left Thailand, contrary to this is that my living expenses are slightly higher here then they were in Thailand.
Also, January through March I'll be joining the DTS outreach. Both the leadership here and I felt very strongly from God that I was to join the team, that I was simply a part of it.
We are headed towards India for 3 months and possibly a second country - which I can't name her, since we are still praying about it, which also means that the students don't know anything about that yet! ;-)

Have a wonderful & blessed sunday everyone...
yours Hanna

How I ended up in Altensteig...

It seemed like God had only been waiting for this (my decision) all along, because four days later I received a phone call from the leader of this base here, asking me whether or not my offer was still valid. He was referring to an email I had sent out to all the German bases about a month previously asking if they could do with another staff for this fall.

As it turned out he had been trying to contact me ever since then but very “mysteriously” none of those emails ever reached me. He ended up google-ing me where he found my blog and through that one of my previous YWAM-bases which he rang up and they were able to give him my parents home number!

From that point on everything simply seemed to fall into place. Within three days I was packed and on my way to Altensteig. I’m staffing a Discipleship Training School (DTS), which started two weeks ago today (which was three days after I got here). To begin with only for during the lecture phase and I might join for outreach. We’ll see!

I am very much looking forward to these coming months; I’m positive that it’s going to be a great time. Simply knowing that I am needed wanted and welcome here, that not only were my prayers answered, but that I myself am one miraculous answer to prayer to the people here is pure medicine for the soul!!

So far for now, until next time

Be blessed and sunny greetings from the Black Forest,
(although it's presently only shining in my heart, since it's been pretty clouded and dull for couple of days already)

Hanna

about my summer...

As some of you may already know I was not doing well at all during this summer – emotionally but mainly spiritually. For the longest time I myself had no idea what really was the matter with me.

All in all I guess it was a bunch of things coming together. For one thing I believe that a part of it was a delayed response to things that happened during the counseling school. You know where I had dealt with things in my life, my past and where the enemy was now putting up a real fight for it. Of course, it didn’t help either that I left Switzerland with no idea of what to do or where to go from there, for the one thing I truly felt and believed I was supposed to be doing I was denied. I was completely lost. Another part of it was me beginning to deal with some of my experiences in Thailand on a deeper level. You know, where at the time I had been simply too close to the situation to really be able to deal with them properly.
I don’t know I had just become so tired of it all, I was tired of my life, my ministry (not the ministry itself – more with the fact that there was so little happening), my church + church in general and I had become tired of God, or to be more accurate I had become tired of waiting on God, of having to learn everything the hard way. ;-)

I guess, it was a process that had started a long time ago and it had been bubbling underneath the surface for quite awhile and now it was finally surfacing. Throughout the entire summer I was seriously doubting and questioning everything, most of all God and my belief, my trust in Him.

But what can I say? God simply wouldn’t let me go… He never gave up on me. He reminded me again and again that it was He who called me that He has good and great plans for me, plans that no one else could ever fulfill the way I can. Around my birthday I came to realize more and more that God was waiting for me to make a decision.
Was I willing to once more place everything on one card and trust Him blindly and 200%. To set aside all the unanswered questions and insecurities and to simply stand on His Word, His words and promises to me and all the good years I have already had with Him.

I heard someone say once that sometimes when everything is taken and stripped away all that is left to do is to believe. Well, I have made my choice and I said YES! Yes, I want to take the chance, the risk. I want to believe and once again put all my trust in God, in Jesus!

By now a month has passed since the day I said YES and I have been getting gradually better. And I don't only mean somewhat better, but actually good or more than good!

Soli Deo Gloria,
Hanna

birthday...

no... not mine...
it's tobyMac's birthday today... as far as i know he is turning 43!

Happy Birthday to you, mate! ;-)

first snow...

no kidding... we had our first snow this morning... i couldn't believe my eyes when i saw it... i mean at the beginning of the week we were running around with short sleeves! anyway, it's gone by now... still it was cool.
dts is still going great - we just had our fatherheart of God-week which was nothing like any fatherheart of God teaching i've ever had before. although i have to admit that i didn't get to hear it all due to me being in the kitchen part of the time preparing meals... but the parts i heard were more about God's character in general than his fatherheart... well, it was still very good and God has been revealing things and speaking into our lives. it was great.

God is good!
luv ya,
i'll try to get you a summary of this summer some time this week... it's all a bit complicated and this last few weeks were simply too busy, plus everything is quite flexible and at times quite last minute around here... ;-)

goodbye for now
hanna

after a long intermission...

warm greetings from Altensteig in the Black Forest.
What I'm doing in Altensteig?

Well, I am staffing a dts (Discipleship Training School). My main responsibilities are the kitchen/cooking and interpretation of teaching sessions (English-German, German-English). And of course to simply be there for the students to talk, to counsel, to pray...

I gotta say, I'm having a great time doing it, especially the interpretation which is something I've always wanted to do and liked doing, but I really had an opportunity. And now I have almost daily opportunities. It feels wonderful to be able to use my brain again! :-) Well, you know what I mean, to be challenged intellectualy and let me tell you, you know what you have accomplished after interpreting for 2.5 hours straight!

I'll get back to you soon.
Hanna